What Is An OCD Backdoor Spike & How To Deal With It?

You have been struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for a long time, and you have been attending cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure-response and prevention (ERP) therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and taking medications religiously for just as long. However, recently you have noticed that your OCD has gotten, dare you say, “better.” 

You’re happy that you are not suffering from your OCD symptoms like before, but you are having a hard time understanding why your symptoms are not as “bad” as they once were. You cannot help but ruminate over why your symptoms are suddenly getting better when you have struggled with them for YEARS. It is getting to the point that all you can think about is why your symptoms are better now when they were not before. 

What is different now? What does it mean that they are different now? Because your old symptoms are better now, does that mean a new obsession and compulsion are on the cusp of popping up now? You cannot get these thoughts, fears, and doubts out of your mind. Your worries feel a lot like your old obsessions, but different – like in a different area. What is going on? Are your OCD symptoms starting again, but in a different area? And, if so, how can you make it stop or at least deal with it better?

If your OCD symptoms appear to be getting better – after struggling with them for a long time – but you cannot stop wondering why they are getting better – or fearing that it means something “bad” is on the horizon, worry no more, because there is a name for what you are experiencing. It is called an OCD backdoor spike, and it is treatable. With this article, you will learn exactly what an OCD backdoor spike is, and how you can cope with it when it arises.

First, Let’s Talk About OCD

OCD or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition, specifically an anxiety condition, that involves involuntary, unwanted, repetitive, and intrusive or distressing thoughts, fears, doubts, mental images, negative emotions (obsessions), and/or compulsions (rituals or routines). 

Some OCD sufferers struggle with just obsessions, while others struggle with just compulsions. Most, however, struggle with both obsessions and compulsions. Regardless, OCD, in any form, can cause strife. More specifically, it can negatively impact most, if not all areas of your life, from your self-esteem and self-confidence to your relationships and finances (loss of employment and debt). 

Understand that this condition is not only real but also mighty. In other words, it is powerful, causing loneliness, and exacerbating one’s stress and anxiety. The good news is OCD can be successfully treated. The most common OCD treatments involve CBT, ACT, and ERP therapy, along with TMS and EDMR therapies, medications, like SSRIs antidepressants, tricyclic antidepressants, MAOIs, or antipsychotics. SSRIs are the most common medications used to treat OCD. Natural remedies and self-help tools are also used to supplement the standard OCD treatments. 

These alternative/holistic treatments may include mindfulness meditation, CBD, vitamins and minerals, like magnesium, OCD workbooks and books, support groups, forums, and podcasts, journaling, acupuncture, healthy coping skills and mechanisms, a healthy diet, regular exercise, proper sleep, hypnotherapy/hypnosis, and an online OCD treatment program, like Impulse Therapy. So, if you are struggling with OCD, hope is on the way! With the right OCD treatment plan, you can finally have a life free of non-stop obsessions and/or compulsions.

Okay, So Now You Have an Idea of What OCD is – What is an OCD Backdoor Spike?

Well, an OCD backdoor spike, also known as denial OCD, is one of the most harmful manifestations of OCD.

This phenomenon occurs when an OCD sufferer starts to experience less stress and anxiety, and as a result, fewer intrusive thoughts, fears, mental images, doubts, etc., and then begins to “obsess” because he or she is not stressed and anxious enough about the original intrusive thoughts (original obsession). When this occurs, the OCD sufferer takes this as “evidence” that he or she has been in denial all of this time.

For instance, an OCD sufferer may reason the following, “If I am not tormented by these thoughts, fears, etc., I do not really have OCD or these thoughts, just a part of my personality and mean nothing or an indication that I am a just a depraved person.” An OCD sufferer, who has been free of OCD symptoms\ for weeks, months, days, or even years, may experience an OCD backdoor spike when intrusive thoughts, doubts, and fears arise again.

Or, he or she may experience worry that it could come back – once free of it. OCD backdoor spikes occur when an OCD sufferer worries about or “obsesses” over why he or she is no longer worried about or “obsessing” over this or that. An OCD backdoor spike can also be deceptive. It could also cause an OCD sufferer to believe that the distressing thoughts, fears, and doubts are “signs” of impending danger and therefore, valid and reasonable – when that is probably not the truth.

This could convince him or her that he or she never had OCD in the first place. In reality, those thoughts, fears, doubts, etc., are “signs” of an OCD flare. Lastly, an OCD backdoor spike could OCD sufferer to feel shame and guilt for having the condition, and convince him or her that he or she does not deserve to feel better or be free of OCD. The truth is OCD backdoor spikes are challenging to treat, although they are “treatable.”

Keep in mind, however, that an OCD backdoor spike could cause an OCD sufferer to battle these intrusive thoughts, worries, and doubts for weeks, months, or even years. It could also cause him or her to question his or her sanity – i.e., “Am I crazy for feeling this way and thinking these thoughts?” “Why can’t I just be happy that I do not feel stress and anxiety when I have upsetting thoughts, fears, or doubts?” “What is wrong with me?”

Ultimately, a backdoor spike is just another manifestation of OCD.

In summary, an OCD backdoor spike is a response to an OCD sufferer’s recovery and success. People, who are effectively controlling their OCD symptoms, are the most susceptible to experiencing this type of spike. These individuals, who have little-to-no problems with their OCD, may experience a sudden jolt of stress and anxiety that appears to come out of nowhere. It is called an OCD backdoor spike because it occurs suddenly or appears to “sneak” through the backdoor. In other words, you do not know it is coming.

It is like your OCD says, “Hi! Remember me. You thought I was gone? Oh no, I’m still here and my purpose is to make you doubt yourself, excessively worry, and trigger or worsen your stress and anxiety. I want to make you question if you have OCD, if your OCD is going to return, or if you are just a terrible person – not an OCD sufferer. My goal is to make sure you doubt everything you believed about your OCD diagnosis.”

Note: An OCD backdoor spike can also cause you to question if you will be able to handle stressful, anxiety-provoking, upsetting, and overwhelming situations in the future, such as too many tasks at work, the loss of a loved one, friend, or pet, an unexpected illness, a breakup or divorce, etc. During this time, your OCD will make you doubt that you can handle these types of situations, throwing doubt toward your OCD recovery.

Okay, So Now What? What is the Best Way to Cope with an OCD Backdoor Spike?

Well, that is a great question. There are several ways you can cope with an OCD backdoor spike, such as by returning to therapy.

Do Not Respond

One of the best ways to deal with OCD backdoor spikes is to start attending CBT, ERP therapy, and ACT therapy again. However, because your mind has conjured up a new “threat,” and is working overtime to convince you that you are in danger…again, the goal is to respond to this distress and the perceived “threat” of harm in a different way – a new way.

So, when these upsetting thoughts, fears, doubts, and worries arise, your job is to survey the room, so to speak, become an observer – not a participant, and determine if the “threat” is real. If you are unable to find “evidence” of impending danger, let it go.

Or, more specifically, do not react to the “threat” – leave it hanging. I know this is harder than it sounds, but understand this is a deliberate choice. It will not happen automatically as your first inclining will be to return to former “habits.” Do not do that. Fight against and do the opposite.

“Busy Yourself”

Get out of the house, call or visit a friend or loved one, go for a walk or jog around the neighborhood, exercise, run errands, talk to someone you trust, contact your OCD therapist, go to the movies or an event, join and log into an online OCD treatment program, like Impulse Therapy, etc. So, “busy yourself” instead of returning to your old compulsions (rituals or routines).

Choose to Ignore Your Thoughts, Fears, and Worries

The aim of this go-around should be to remove the power of these thoughts, fears, and worries. Do not give them the time of day. Convince yourself that they mean nothing. This will take work and it will not be easy, but you will need to mentally counter these thoughts, fears, and worries each day until your OCD symptoms die down.

So, for every negative thought, replace it with a positive one, such as “It’s okay that I no longer feel stressed and anxious when I have an upsetting thought. It’s a good thing!” Or, “If anything pops up that threatens my OCD recovery, I will be able to handle it because of all of the tools I have in my OCD toolbox. I will be just fine!”

Only give credence to the thoughts, fears, and worries that you can physically see. If nothing is happening around you, then make a deliberate effort to ignore or dismiss them. In other words, treat them as “false alarms.”

Sign-up For Follow-Up Therapy Sessions & Attend Support Groups

You can also cope with an OCD backdoor spike by periodically attending OCD therapy – even after it has ended. Checking in with an OCD therapist every 3-6-12 months is a good way to prevent the spikes from occurring. OCD is a chronic condition, which means it can “sneak back in” at any time – i.e., weeks, months, or many years later.

So, this means you will always need support to keep your OCD free. A strong support system can help detect when your OCD is going off the rails, encourage you to get OCD help and provide comfort to you while you work through your fears, worries, and doubts. Truth be told, OCD is not the type of condition that you can conquer on your own – even once you have finished treatment. Thus, support groups, forums, and podcasts can be “godsends” for you.

Practice Self-Care

Although, you may have a lot going on with your OCD backdoor spike, do not forget to practice self-care.

You deserve and need to feel good if you are going to battle OCD again. You need to feel strong, rested, and prepared if you are going to get out of your current OCD cycle. So, make time for the things that bring you joy like painting, cooking, spending time with someone you love and trust, going to the spa or gym, reading (if your OCD does not get in the way), practicing your new hobby, attending a class and learning something new, reading positive affirmations, meditating, taking a hot shower or bubble bath, listening to soothing music or dancing around the room with rowdy music, gardening, volunteering at an animal shelter, shopping, etc.

The goal is to make time for the things that help you relax and provide you with comfort. You cannot fight and win battles if you are in a weakened state, so eat healthy foods, get proper sleep, and exercise!

Stop Beating Yourself Up

It is easy to beat yourself up for experiencing OCD thoughts, fears, and worries after being OCD-free for a long time. But, do not do that because it is not your fault. Something as simple as seeing something in a magazine, sitcom, movie, or advertisement, or hearing something in a song, can sometimes be enough to trigger OCD.

You cannot help what you see and hear, and you cannot help your initial reaction to it. However, you can make a conscious choice to do things differently, and contact a therapist once you realize what is happening. But the key is to remember that you are not to blame and we all fall down sometimes. The goal is to get back up and keep going. So, if you are experiencing an OCD backdoor spike, give yourself a much-needed break. 

Be Willing to Take the Risk

What does that mean? Well, it means being willing to take the risk of not responding to thoughts, fears, and worries. Although scary, it is the only way you will truly convince yourself that they are unlikely to happen. It’s a wait-and-see approach that is not easy. The thing is you will not know they are illogical if you do not take that risk. So, as mentioned above, the next time a thought, fear, or worry arises that causes you to doubt yourself, question it and test it out. If nothing happens you know the thought, fear, or worry was misplaced, and then you can start examining other thoughts, fears, and worries as they arise.

Celebrate

Celebrate? Yes, celebrate being free of OCD. Make it a big production. Have a party and invite your close friends and loved ones. Be proud of your accomplishment, and each time fear, worry, or doubt creeps into your mind, remind yourself of how lucky or blessed you are to have one in your battle against OCD. If this does not do it alone, distract yourself every time you start to question why your OCD symptoms disappeared, or whether or not you’ll be able to handle stress and anxiety in the future. For instance, review your positive affirmations, call or visit a friend, play with your pet or child, go on a date – or celebrate all over again. Keep celebrating until you feel proud of yourself and your accomplishments. 

References

• OCD Center of Los Angeles. (n.d.). Doubt, denial, and OCD. Retrieved from https://ocdla.com/doubt-denial-ocd-5342